Pregnancy is a highly unpleasant ailment, in which a seven -plus pound parasite develops in the lady's tummy

quote from The Poo Bomb: The Tales of Parental Terror. great book if you ever get sick of sappy parenting books. I have just made it to page three and there are several great lines in there, including,

advice to dads: when you're at the ultrasound, when you see that twitchy little creature on the black-and-white monitor, do not say, "Oh G**! What is that? Hit it with a brick!" This will not help.